Dyveke & Daniel.

My name is Dyveke (25 years), and my cohabitant's name is Daniel (27 years). We have been trying to have children for four years. I want to tell a little about our history. We have been together for nine years, and cohabitants for six years. We got engaged in 2016, but did not marry as we wanted to have children first.

My mother was seriously ill with cancer from January 2014 to January 2016. She died January 30, 2016. We never knew how long she would live. In 2015, we decided to stop using contraception and hoped to become pregnant. Since we did not know how long we had my mother, we would try. We should be happy about that when the road to children has been so long and arduous. Unfortunately, my mother never got to experience being grandmother to my children; it hurts to think about today.

In January 2015, we had just stopped taking contraception and thought we should not go in to try but we had the mindset that if it happens then it happens. After a few months of "free trial", we bought ovulation tests and eventually ovulation monitor. It turned out that there was ovulation every month. We were a little frustrated and sad that it did not work out, since we were both young and seemingly healthy. I have previously undergone a laparoscopy to examine myself for endometriosis (as it is in the family). The only thing they found on the operation was inflammation in the abdomen and around the uterus, which was removed.

I contacted my gynaecologist after one year (April/May 2016) to investigate if anything could be done. She recommended that Daniel should take a sperm sample, and if it was ok, they could start investigating me more possibly. It turned out that Daniel's sample was not very good in quality. Since his test had a bad result and all blood tests with me and Daniel were fine, she would send us on to IVF. We decided to try Haugesund Hospital due to. very good feedback from others. We got an appointment for a conversation in March 2017.

While we were waiting to arrive at a public hospital, we decided to take a trial privately at Klinikk Hausken in Blomsterdalen. We were now in August 2016. We first tried a round of insemination, which did not work and we were not recommended this either. The first experiment with test tubes was in October/November 2016. We got pregnant for the first time and were so happy. But the happiness did not last long. About 1-1.5 weeks after a positive test, there were heavy bleeding and stomach cramps. Then I spontaneously aborted. I wasn't prepared for it, so I was really, really crushed.

Time passed slowly towards March 2017. When we finally arrived in March, they took new blood samples and sperm samples. Everything looked exactly the same as before. Fine blood tests, and poor sperm sample. That was when the 2nd attempt with test tubes, the 1st attempt at Haugesund hospital, was underway. Of course, we were very excited and had high hopes that it would be relatively quick to get pregnant. The egg retrieval resulted in 3 good embryos. We put in one embryo that did not result in pregnancy, one embryo could not stand the thawing and with the last embryo that round I got pregnant again. Happiness was great once again, but this time we were more prepared that it could go wrong. We thought the chance of it going wrong was small since it went wrong the first time.

So wrong one can be, in week 7-8 I had one night intense pain in the abdomen but no bleeding. I called the emergency room, which sent me straight down to KK. I lay there for several hours with intense pain before I got examined. After a long time I was sent to surgery. It was pregnancy outside the womb. The embryo had almost loosened itself, so I luckily escaped the removal of the fallopian tube where the embryo was attached. The reaction to what had happened did not come until a while after I got home. Because I did not have the opportunity to react until afterwards, due to such insane pain. All this happened from March-September 2017.

In November 2017, we started the 3rd trial with test tubes, which was the 2nd trial round at Haugesund Hospital. The egg retrieval resulted in 2 good embryos, where we wanted to insert both embryos at once. It was fine for the hospital, but they recommended total freezing due to some overstimulation of hormones. At that time we were very tired of waiting, so we managed to persuade the hospital to put them both in fresh. We got pregnant this time but also ended up being hospitalized at Christmas time due to overstimulation. Fortunately, the overstimulation went well, was not severely overstimulated. This round was the first time we finally got to see a beating heart on early ultrasound, and then we were more relaxed, but clearly had in mind that it can go wrong.

In weeks 8-9 I noticed that something with the body did not feel right, did not have pain or bleeding, but thought something was off. Decided to take an ultrasound to check, this was the only time I have traveled without my partner (due to work). There was a small one, which had stopped developing a week earlier, most likely right after an early ultrasound. I completely collapsed and did not want to try again. My thoughts were that we will never have children. We will just lose anyway. Is it worth it?

After a while we were up and running again. In May/June and August 2018, we started the 4th trial with test tubes, the 3rd trial at Haugesund Hospital. This round we were surprised by the number of good embryos; as many as six embryos were frozen, but only three pieces survived until insertion. Two embryos were first inserted in August, but I did not become pregnant. The next insertion was one embryo. I did not get pregnant with this either.

Between June and August, we sent a sample of my menstrual blood to a clinic abroad that we had heard from on various forums and had read an article about. After the answer we received from the clinic, we both started a hefty course of antibiotics, which lasted for 30 days. We were now done in the public system, and both felt quite bored and frustrated. Shall we take a break? Shall we endure more? Maybe we have to come to terms with the fact that there will be no children.

After some thought, we decided to continue, and are very happy about it today. We contacted Klinikk Hausken in Blomsterdalen again. Was in for a conversation to go through our past at Haugesund hospital. We decided on a 3-pack with trials at Klinikk Hausken. The first egg retrieval was in November 2018, ending up with only one good embryo. They were a little unsure if they would completely freeze it or put in fresh since I was in borderland on overstimulation, again. Once again, there were fresh attempts. It went very well this round considering both the overstimulation and pregnancy. We are now sitting and are in week 23/24 with a growing stomach, and movement for the first time. It is completely surreal. We both will probably not believe it's for real until we have our little girl in our arms.

Through all the attempts I have also undergone: scratching in the uterus twice to make scar tissue so that the embryo attaches more easily, a hysteroscopy to remove a very small septum in the uterus and two operations (laparoscopy in connection with pregnancy outside the uterus and a scraping of embryo). I have had great pain in connection with all withdrawals and all these treatments. Another thing that recurred during all the attempts was overstimulation. I was overstimulated approx. all my rounds of attempts, even if they tried to change medications and the like.

Another thing that is very tough in such a process is to see others around us get pregnant easy as 1-2-3. It often feels very unfair. Dealing with couples who have children, who one feels complains about the smallest little thing is also a great strain. When we sit with the thought that "they should be so eternally grateful to have children." These are feelings you do not want to have but which unfortunately follow when you go through such a process. It really hurts when the only desire you have is to have children of your own.

There are many around us who have tried to come up with suggestions and advice, such as that we must relax and that we must take a break from our attempts. My tip to everyone out there, do what feels right for you. It is an incredibly tough process, if someone wants a break it is very understandable, but if someone does not want a break it is also very understandable. We did not want a break, because we did not want to "waste good years".

Today we are sitting and pregnant in week 25, with a growing stomach and an active girl in the belly. We are clearly nervous, often more than others who have not gone through this. Feel free to call me over-nervous, but a feeling is hard to turn off. The chance that things will go wrong now is very small, of course. But is anyway very nervous, and overjoyed.

A big thank you to all the health professionals who have helped us all the way!

- Regards from Dyveke & Daniel.